Prediction #21: World horrified when ingredients of American cheese disclosed.

Prediction #20: Tim Hortons renames itself Tim Horton's.

Prediction #19: I return rubbermaid container borrowed from my in-laws in 2007.

Prediction #18: Julian Assange found guilty of TMI.

Frosty the Snowman in HD. Really CBS? Really?

Prediction #17: Captain Planet court-martialed.

Prediction #16: College of Cardinals win Bowl Championship Series.

Prediction #15: Burger King transitions to constitutional monarchy.

Prediction #14: France surrenders to itself.

Prediction #13: Waldo and Carmen Sandiego discovered in Afghanistan.

Prediction #12: Lady Gaga spotted in public wearing khakis, a white blouse, and sensible shoes.

Prediction #11: Leo Tolstoy's lost novella, The Dude's Guide to Awesome Beards, is discovered in a neglected Russian archive.

Prediction #10: The cast of the Harry Potter movies file for unemployment.

Prediction #9: Beatles reunion concert made possible through unholy alliance with Richard Branson.

Prediction #VIII: Suspicious of Arabic numerals, Sarah Palin and Glenn Beck join forces again in Washington, DC for the Restoring Roman Numerals rally drawing a crowd of nearly (C) supporters.

Prediction #7: Tired of all the jokes at its expense, Newfoundland sets itself adrift from the rest of Canada.

Prediction #6: Hoping to generate revenue, President Obama proposes reselling Alaska to Russia.

Yikes. I owe the world many predictions.

Prediction #5: To improve Americans' eating habits, the Big Mac reclassified as a vegetable.

Prediction #4: World economy recovers; my hair remains in recession.