Prediction #21: World horrified when ingredients of American cheese disclosed.
20 December 2010
Prediction #20: Tim Hortons renames itself Tim Horton's.
19 December 2010
Prediction #19: I return rubbermaid container borrowed from my in-laws in 2007.
18 December 2010
Prediction #18: Julian Assange found guilty of TMI.
17 December 2010
Frosty the Snowman in HD. Really CBS? Really?
Prediction #17: Captain Planet court-martialed.
16 December 2010
Prediction #16: College of Cardinals win Bowl Championship Series.
15 December 2010
Prediction #15: Burger King transitions to constitutional monarchy.
14 December 2010
Prediction #14: France surrenders to itself.
13 December 2010
Prediction #13: Waldo and Carmen Sandiego discovered in Afghanistan.
Prediction #12: Lady Gaga spotted in public wearing khakis, a white blouse, and sensible shoes.
Prediction #11: Leo Tolstoy's lost novella, The Dude's Guide to Awesome Beards, is discovered in a neglected Russian archive.
Prediction #10: The cast of the Harry Potter movies file for unemployment.
Prediction #9: Beatles reunion concert made possible through unholy alliance with Richard Branson.
Prediction #VIII: Suspicious of Arabic numerals, Sarah Palin and Glenn Beck join forces again in Washington, DC for the Restoring Roman Numerals rally drawing a crowd of nearly (C) supporters.
Prediction #7: Tired of all the jokes at its expense, Newfoundland sets itself adrift from the rest of Canada.
Prediction #6: Hoping to generate revenue, President Obama proposes reselling Alaska to Russia.
Yikes. I owe the world many predictions.
05 December 2010
Prediction #5: To improve Americans' eating habits, the Big Mac reclassified as a vegetable.
Prediction #4: World economy recovers; my hair remains in recession.
03 December 2010
Prediction #3: In an effort to court American voters for his upcoming 2012 reelection bid, President Obama changes his middle name to Gerald.
02 December 2010
Dear Abominable Snowman: How did you get to the North Pole?
Prediction #2: "Actors" in Snuggie commercials will finally feel a sense of embarrassment.
01 December 2010
Prediction #1: After having stepped into a mucky puddle, I will notice my right shoe is untied. I will be repulsed by the idea of having to retie my soaked laces.
As 2010 closes, I feel it is my duty to prognosticate about 2011. For each day in December I'll call upon my powers and post a prediction. Prepare yourself to be . . . well . . . just prepare yourself.