. _ _ . _ _ _ _ . _ . . . . .

21 December 2010

Prediction #21: World horrified when ingredients of American cheese disclosed.

20 December 2010

19 December 2010

Prediction #19: I return rubbermaid container borrowed from my in-laws in 2007.

18 December 2010

16 December 2010

15 December 2010

13 December 2010

Prediction #13: Waldo and Carmen Sandiego discovered in Afghanistan.
Prediction #12: Lady Gaga spotted in public wearing khakis, a white blouse, and sensible shoes.
Prediction #11: Leo Tolstoy's lost novella, The Dude's Guide to Awesome Beards, is discovered in a neglected Russian archive.
Prediction #10: The cast of the Harry Potter movies file for unemployment.
Prediction #9: Beatles reunion concert made possible through unholy alliance with Richard Branson.
Prediction #VIII: Suspicious of Arabic numerals, Sarah Palin and Glenn Beck join forces again in Washington, DC for the Restoring Roman Numerals rally drawing a crowd of nearly (C) supporters.
Prediction #7: Tired of all the jokes at its expense, Newfoundland sets itself adrift from the rest of Canada.
Prediction #6: Hoping to generate revenue, President Obama proposes reselling Alaska to Russia.
Yikes. I owe the world many predictions.

05 December 2010

Prediction #5: To improve Americans' eating habits, the Big Mac reclassified as a vegetable.
Prediction #4: World economy recovers; my hair remains in recession.

03 December 2010

Prediction #3: In an effort to court American voters for his upcoming 2012 reelection bid, President Obama changes his middle name to Gerald.

02 December 2010

Dear Abominable Snowman: How did you get to the North Pole?
Prediction #2: "Actors" in Snuggie commercials will finally feel a sense of embarrassment.

01 December 2010

Prediction #1: After having stepped into a mucky puddle, I will notice my right shoe is untied. I will be repulsed by the idea of having to retie my soaked laces.
As 2010 closes, I feel it is my duty to prognosticate about 2011. For each day in December I'll call upon my powers and post a prediction. Prepare yourself to be . . . well . . . just prepare yourself.