I love American English but there are moments when I grow jealous of British English. Grey and surprize are far more beautiful than their American cousins.

Dear First Peoples: I'm really sorry about the Pilgrims.

Dear Pilgrims: Thanks for being so crazy nobody wanted you in their country.

I either found my first white hair in my mustache or I'm beginning to sprout fiber optic cable.

Happy Thanksgiving to my legion of readers.